I feel absolutely awful and disgusted with myself. I feel so guilty that I did that to Jaime. I feel so bad. I just want to cry and cry and cry. I want Jaime so badly. He told me ‘it wasn’t my fault’. But I feel like it is. He said he loves me and it’s going to be okay, don’t cry honey. Then he called me to take me out for breakfast. But my friend was over.
I can’t even explain to her what happened. I didn’t want to ruin her day.
I feel so disgusted. I feel stupid and angry. And mad. I slept all day. Then I threw up the noodles I ate. I let my dog tear up my underwear. Then I threw it away. I took a long shower, and cleaned every part of me twice. I have this awful anxiety. I have an awful headache. I decided to lay in the dark so I could cry, get it out of my system. And the tears came, but now I just feel worse and sniffly.
How could this happen, again? How does everybody around me turn into an asshole? A complete asshole.
