She started the car. (creative writing, without all the caps…)
“Honey, I have to go.” Three years ago, he pulled up in front of her house smile and waved at her. She sat on the curb. He began talking. He told her he talked to someone about the Navy. The meeting was long and he gathered a lot of information. He was going out of town in a few days to take a test, and get a physical. If he passed, boot camp was next. She yelled and screamed and pushed him away. “I know.” She leaned her head on his shoulder and he rubbed her bare legs. “I know.” . Four years together and now four years apart. She started the car
“Do you know what they do in the navy? THEY GO TO STRIPCLUBS! Oh wait, they don’t! Why don’t they? They’re left to homosexuality and they go to gay bars! I hope you enjoy going to gay bars!”
“I’ll love it,” he joked.
“YOU’LL HATE IT. DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY GUYS I KNOW WHO’VE BEEN IN THE NAVY?”
“How many, honey?”
“100! AND HALF OF THAT 100 TOLD ME THEY AND THEY’VE TRIED TO KILL THEMSELVES! AND HALF OF THAT HALF HAVE SUCCEEDED!”
He laughed at her. He wanted her to support him but she asked how could she possibly support him when he was leaving her? When he was getting into his car, she began to cry. He got out and hugged her. “Come here,” he said and kissed her head. He said it was years, years from now.
“I have to go honey, okay?” He got up, sitting her up. “I have to go.”
She sat there, motionless. She felt numb and irrelevant. She felt like she had no purpose on this planet. She felt unneeded, unwanted, unloved. She felt destroyed.
“Honey.”
“No.” She looked up and him. “Please don’t go.” She sat up and reached for him.
He picked her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist. “I have to honey. I love you so much.”
“Please. Please don’t go. You promised. You said it’d be you and me. You lied. It’s not time. You said years. Don’t leave. I need you. I’m scared. I’m so scared.” She buried her face into his shoulder and mumbled please repetitively.
He kissed her head and her legs dropped. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. “Do you remember when I bought you that necklace?”
She nodded and he fumbled with the necklace around her neck.
“Just making sure.” He kissed her cheek and bit her lightly.
She mumbled a stop and shook her head. “This is not fair.”
For the first time, he apologized. “I’m sorry”.
They kissed for a long time. Their lips pulled apart and he said, “I love you” and she said “I love you more” and he shook her head and she nodded and he kissed her again. And she said they won’t be able to kiss for a long time. And he kissed her again. And they kissed.
“Sleeping together, we won’t be able to do that either.” He kissed her. “We can’t watch The Breakfast Club or Harry Potter or Ghost or-” He kissed her. “Can we still read books together? Probably not, huh?” He kissed her. “What if I get cold? It’s so cold. What if I get cold? Who will hold me? You sure won’t. You’ll be off on the ocean or swimming with goddamn seals.” He kissed her again.
He said he had to go one more time. She buried her head in his chest and he held her tight, tighter than she’d ever been held before. Then he squeezed again. His shoulders shook for a quick second and she knew not to look up. She let it go. He picked up her face and she could see the redness in his eyes but she knew not to mention it. “I love you so much.”
“Please don’t leave me.” She couldn’t catch herself. The words slipped out. And she began to cry. She shook her head and cried. The tears poured out all at once.
“Oh honey, please don’t cry.” He held her again. “I have to go.” And he did. The bus was lingering. It was filled with young men who had just said goodbye to their mothers, brothers, sweethearts. He kissed he head and lifted her up.
And then he let her go. He walked backwards. “I love you.”
“I love you more.”
He ran back to her and held her face. He squeezed it and smiled. “I’m going to miss this.”
“Go. Hurry. Stop lingering. You lingerer.” She smiled and he kissed her lips and ran over to the bus. “I love you!”
And he hollered, “I love you more.”
She shook her head but he was on the bus. She didn’t stay. She didn’t want to watch it go. She wanted to leave before she left. She got into his car and put his keys into the engine. She rubbed the dashboard. She drove a block away and then pulled over. She gripped the steering wheel and thought about all the times they drove in this car. He picked her up from school and then they would get some grub. They’d go to her house and lie in her bed, talking about the past and regretting the future. Her favorite thing was sleeping together. But they wouldn’t sleep anymore.
